I finally gave in and went to see my GP this morning over the Sertraline and we have increased it to the maximum dose of 200mg, we talked a little over things and about mum. I explained how I felt the Sertraline was not working and that this is something I’ve been thinking for weeks but I’d just not had the time to come in and discuss it. I’ve also got another prescription for the Zopiclone as sleep is pretty much non existent for me at the moment. I think the next step if the increased dose of Sertraline doesn’t work is trying out Venlafaxine.
Been to visit mum this afternoon, she’s okay given the circumstances. I am beginning to hate doctors and there half informative conversations which lead no where, it’s all ifs and buts and it’s making me feel so angry… This morning she was informed yes the kidney will be removed, it’s a complicated surgery and they don’t know what effect removing one of her own kidneys will have on the transplanted one, i.e. the shock of her body losing one of it’s own may put the transplanted one into full rejection (although it’s almost there) and since both her own kidneys don’t work hence all the talk about Haemodialysis because they are aware her body would not be fully recovered enough for CAPD.
Yesterday it was “We’ll tell you when we’ll operate” today it’s “It might be about 4 – 6 weeks” when mum queried that she was then told “But it might be next week…” apparently there is another consultation conference going on this afternoon. The surgery itself is not performed by the renal team but by a neurosurgeon which I found surprising. It’s just infuriating to be told it could be weeks before they operate, surely to god you don’t take a risk and wait 6 weeks when someone has Cancer. Not only do you risk the chance of the tumour growing but it puts an incredible strain on the person waiting for surgery and just makes them and there loved ones worry even more.
I hate this, I hate feeling so fucking helpless and angry, I hate myself for feeling like this and I hate everything around me right now. I know I have to remain strong but I am struggling right now, it just feels like everything is beginning to cave in around me and I am fearful what the next month or so holds.
Really sorry to hear your sad news. I am thinking of you and your mum both. Take care of yourself.
I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom’s illness. You’re feeling blown away and quite reasonably. Just do what you can to go on. Anyone would have a hard time of all this. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts. *sending hugs*
I’m with Immi on this one. I think that you are holding it together pretty well considering. Most people would have already gone to pieces by now.
{{hugs}}
Lola x
It’s terrible to hear that your mum is no wiser as to when the operation will take place. And, I agree with you in that a possible wait of anything up to 6 weeks is far too long!
My thoughts are with your mum, and you and your family as a whole. What a stressful time it must be for you all
It really isn’t surprising to hear how you feel just now…
…try not to take it ALL on by yourself. I know that’s easy said, but try and let your dad take some of the strain too. And, try and make the most of your therapy session next week by opening up some more and discussing some of your concerns right now.
I do wish I could be of more help to you Alison, though you are free to email, or phone, me at any time.
With everything that’s going on around you right now, please remember to take care of yourself too!
xx
If Mum has cancer darling the national time scale is 14 days for a procedure so she really shouldn’t be waiting any longer and if she is I would start asking questions, the idea is to catch it quickly.
Fingers crossed they get the operation sorted.
xx
Hope you will get a useful piece of information soon. This waiting only makes it worse.
Feel hugged!