Keeping Up The Pretence
I am still not happy with how things are with E and our friendship. I mentioned I visited last week but only stayed an hour. I phoned on her birthday around 11.30ish from the therapy group just to wish her a “Happy Birthday” I did try at 8.30am before I went out but just got her hubby P so I told him I’d call in my morning break. I was already aware she was expecting company around lunch time in the form of an old friend P and his wife C, neither of who E and P really enjoy entertaining in there home. When I called it was obvious they had already arrived but I am certain she could have spared a couple of minutes to listen to me wishing her a Happy Birthday. Instead it was a quick I’ll speak to you later and I really wish I hadn’t bothered, even more so when I called back at 6pm and was in the middle of chatting when she said “My sister is here, I’ll call you back laters”… she didn’t. Instead she called on Friday around lunch time and proceeded for eight minutes to moan about P’s visit and how crude his wife C had been again. There was no “How are you?”, “How are the workmen going?” or even “How was Thursday?”, after 8 minutes the call was cut short because her sister turned up, she said she would phone back later that evening… she didn’t and still hasn’t…
E was suppose to be at death’s door less than two / three weeks ago and now once again she’s running around after her sister who has gone from being told she can come when invited to landing on E’s doorstep daily again for several hours a day.
I am not sure how much longer I can keep up this pretence that I want to stay friends anymore.
On top of feeling like this over E, I am exhausted again and back to feeling as tired as I was in May and June. The upside is I sleep at night when I go to bed but the downside is I wake up feeling like I want to continue to sleep.
I don’t know what to say. I have a friend who is extremely similar, she only rings me when she wants to moan at someone and when I ring her she always has something better to do.
I guess you have to be true to yourself and if you think this friendship isn’t doing you any good at the moment, then step back from it for a while. I’m not saying forever, just long enough for E to realise that you aren’t there to be taken as a fool or just to be used as a sounding board.
xx
I think all friendships just go through periods like this – there are always times when one person’s doing more than the other and sometimes we’re not even aware we’re not being a good friend. I guess you have two choices – either sit down with E and have an honest talk about how you’re feeling, or ride it out. If you talk to her and feel that she’s not responsive and the changes you need are not going to be made, then that’s the time to say, “enough!”.
I agree with the others you need to step back and let her come running to you for a change, you need friends who support you through thick and thin, not just turn away and think of themselves, you deserve better….xx