Is There An Echo In Here?

So far it has been non stop since I returned last night and the week looks like it’s going to get busier as it goes on. I accompanied mum to one of her hospital appointments this afternoon in Manchester for an Echocardiogram – again just pre transplant list stuff! Actually it didn’t take long and she went in 20 minutes before her allocated appointment time!

Tomorrow we will head back to Wythenshawe Hospital to hopefully successfully get the final test that is needed before mum goes on the open transplant list. I only hope this time it won’t be a wasted journey like it turned out to be last time! Providing that this test goes okay and the results are all good, she’ll hopefully go onto the open waiting list for a transplant, she’s currently on what they call the closed list pending the results of tests!

In other news which I should mention the email I sent to mum last week after the therapy group, helped enormously. She was absolutely fine with me being honest in the email about the reason I am going to the therapy group and with the whole possible personality disorder thing. In her own words, “I can only say, like me, just take each day as it comes and maybe in time it can be better for you.” We also had a chat over the phone about it. I am glad I was more open with her since now I feel I don’t need to really hide the fact I have problems with depression and when people question why I am off work I could perhaps be more open instead of feeling the need to keep secrets. Of course my revelation didn’t include the issues of the abuse years ago, as far as I am concerned that is still my secret for now, but I get the idea mum may have cottoned on to things… mothers tend to have this sixth sense don’t they!

I had a lot of thinking time in Sweden. Just sitting by the water watching the world go back gave me some much needed breathing space and time out. I am determined to stick with the therapy group and use it to my advantage to air my issues and problems. There was a point last week when I seriously didn’t want to return, I thought it was suppose to make me better not worse but as many people have told me this could be the way forward if I deal with the issues of the past in order to move on for the future!

Anyhow we can but try, can’t we…