Attempt To Keep On Functioning

There seems to have been very little to write about these past few days as I continue to fight the demons within and the social anxiety that is plaguing me, the latter becoming a more serious issue for me. I was intent on discussing it a little more with my GP Dr H on Friday when I went to collect the new prescriptions that Dr G had prescribed me, but I just wanted to collect and run, the anxiety made it to difficult to even face talking to my own GP. After venturing out to collect the new meds I spent the weekend hiding away, the less communication I had with people the better.

Clambering Out Of The Black Hole

The appointment that I brought forward by a week with Dr G went better than I expected, despite the increased apprehension and worry over what I was going to say. There were tears which I am ashamed to say I apologised for, and she wondered why. I explained that showing my emotions in public was something I rarely did. Even with all those group therapy sessions if I knew I was about to get upset and cry I’d get up and go into yard outside despite the staff always asking ‘Please stay with us in the group and we can work through these feelings’. Yet if someone breaks down in front of me I’m caring and compassionate towards them and would never judge them any differently because of it.

Protected: Take Three And The Ironic Story Of Seeing M Again!

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Protected: Quitting? Second Chances…

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Admitting What You Don’t Want To

Hands up. I own up and openly admit things are not so good in terms of my mental health, as if people are not beginning to notice. I am attempting right now to keep my sanity before it disappears again but it’s proving tricky. What I’d really like is to hide away in a dark corner till this passes but I realise that’s neither practical nor helpful and because I tend to hide what is happening from those closest to me, it’s even more not likely to happen. Instead I plod along as if everything is okay, until I physically can’t plod along anymore and then I snap. I get irritable with those people who love me and I get argumentative.